So We Decided To Create a John Irving Book Club

Let's start by saying that approximately one-half of this duo actually likes John Irving, albeit tepidly.* The other half is too busy laughing over the fact that a) that the word "doink" was used for the word penis in one of his books and b) the penis in question was the humongous penis of a midget.

 One half of us has in fact read several of his novels, and (somewhat) likes John Irving because he "tells a compelling story." The other half (me) likes John Irving because after reading one of his books I found myself typing phrases such as "the humongous penis of a midget." (I know "midget" is not politically correct, but then I'd either need to call him a little person or Owen Meany, and honestly, neither of those things are as entertaining.)

The creators of this blog both read A Prayer for Owen Meany in English class. One of us thoroughly enjoyed it, and the other just used the word "midget" to describe the titular character about three times in as many paragraphs. Both of us found it entertaining and hilarious, though not quite in the way that John Irving might have wanted us to, and based on our research, we have concluded that almost every single one of his books is in some way, shape, or form, entertaining and hilarious.



Exhibit A: The Section On His Wikipedia Page Entitled "Recurring Subjects"

That's right, I just used Wikipedia as a reference. SCREW YOU, HIGH SCHOOL TEACHERS.

Wikipedia has its own chart for weird shit that John Irving keeps reusing in his book. Yeah, someone had to make a chart. John Irving simply refuses to stop revisiting horrifying subjects such as amputation, negligent parenting, wrestling and New England.

Exhibit B: The Quotes Taken Out of Context

How did Irving guess my secret "forced literature" fetish?

Exhibit C: A Closer Look At the Chart From "Recurring Subjects"

You know it was only a matter of time before he discovered the "other" kind of bear, and then WROTE A BOOK about it.

As a lover of hairy gay men myself, I find this incredibly hilarious, and you have to give the seventy year old man some credit.


In all honesty, the man is seventy years old, and doesn't need two teenagers making fun of every other word he writes. He is proof in today's modern literary world that you can make thought-provoking, engrossing, bestselling pieces of literature with actual artistic merit. He has legions of adoring fans and will make more money than we will ever see in our lifetimes.

But honestly? Midget penises? Midget penises.

*A Note From the Other Half of the Duo, Henceforth to be known as "A": 
I don't actually like John Irving particularly. I enjoyed Owen Meany, but I read a few other books of his with reactions ranging from disgust to "this shit is hilarious." And yet, try as I might, I cannot stop reading his books. Something about the way Irving writes keeps sucking me in, so that I am forced to read as much as he is forced to write. Sexy. Anyway, I'm still on a quest to find the One True Good John Irving Novel (besides A Prayer for Owen Meany).


THE JOHN IRVING BOOK CLUB WILL IRREGULARLY UPDATE WITH BORING OPINIONS ON THE HILARIOUS SHIT THAT JOHN IRVING WRITES  

FIRST UP: THE WORLD ACCORDING TO GARP